Flute Jokes

What's the definition of a minor second?
Two flutists playing in unison.

Piccolo Jokes
How do you get two piccolo players to play in unison?
Shoot one.

What is the range of a piccolo?
Oh, about twenty yards on a good day.

How do you tune two piccolos?You shoot them both.

Clarinet Jokes

How do you know when a clarinet player is at your house?
They don't know where to enter and what key to use.

How do you make a saxophone sound like a clarinet?Miss a lot of notes... '

Band Slangs

Hey! We've all got it. Everyday words that take on an entirely different meaning when we enter the band room or step out onto the field.

Alumni: People who never really graduated. (seriously though, we love 'em! :) )
Audition: A crap shoot. Everything depends on how you play that day, not how you play normally.
Bitter: Refers to an "old" person who is bitter/cynical about band and its goings-ons but for some reason is still there. Only applies to volunteer/audition based bands.
Buddybuddy: Refers to a very friendly person. In this case, the band director.
Crack Queen/King: Refers to a very hyper and spontaneous person. Said in light jesting manner.
Goodtimes: And great oldies! No, seriously. That's pretty much what it means. This is generally used when describing an upcoming event. Ie: "It will be goodtimes."
HFL: Trumpet slang. Higher, faster, louder.
Hurrah! : used to pump each other up before a paticularly difficult task. The hu- begining is more air than sound. Much like a football team in a huddle 'woofing'.
Huzzah! : Exclimation of delight or satisfaction. Can be said slowly and deeply or quickly with an almost "Ah ha!" quality.
Issues: Problems of a personal or psychological nature. Can be said seriously or with reference to a slightly difficult or troubled time that is expected to pass in a resonable time period. And, as everything else in band, can be said with humor.
Lactose-intolerant: refers to people who don't/refuse to drink.
Milk: alcoholic beverages.
Park and Blow: Used when there is too much music to learn charts for. Also used to keep audience in the dark about dificulty of music. (can be used to give cheer time on the field.) Scatter drill: Used when band doesn't have enough time to march somewhere, or is incapable of doing so. Is goodtimes.
Trumpet-bus: Gets bigger and more luxurious the more road trips you take. First trumpet player to become a millionaire is required to buy said bus and donate it to the trumpet section.
Wrong: Sick, gross, twisted. See JBrad Quotes.



adopted from : http://www.angelfire.com/band/laughs/
dn<3